Suspense and Suspend

Hi all,
I know, the suspense has been killing you - how the heck did all the follow up go, right?

I went through my August follow up tests and basically found them to be a little easier this time around. It helped that the Echo Cardiogram tech respected my dignity (actually made an effort to keep me covered up!) and the IV nurse for my bronchoscopy understood that scleroderma=potentially tough skin.

I'm off the Gleevec. Yep, did it. No drama, although I've been waiting for the "water weight" that I supposedly gained while on the medication to go away. Still waiting...

Dr. K was good enough to point out that my wrinkles are back - he's good like that. I'm not really convinced they were ever gone, but, hey, I'm not a doctor. Maybe I need soft focus mirrors?

I'm feeling really good, I have to say. I've been working out more (I hear it's good for losing "water weight"), and am pretty convinced that any shortness of breath is from good ol' exertion. The red spots are still there, but - this is weird - the white patches are gone! My hands are decent, but occasionally a little tight. Raynaud's is still around. So, looks like the most dangerous things are under control, which is fine by me.

I'm to go for continuous lung function tests every three months. If my lung function drops, I'll have to take something else. I'm not as worried about, say, the drug that causes infertility because Matty and I decided not to have children.

This probably should be another post, but - well, it's not. I know that scleroderma patients can and do have kids and do just fine. This, despite the fact that it seems the entire medical community in Los Angeles is against me having kids! I really think that everyone in a white coat told me not to have kids at one time or another.

I just couldn't get past the thought 'What if these diseases are genetic? What if I pass on something - something worse, even - when I knew it was a possibility?' Can't do it.

Matty and I have pretty much made peace with it. We were always sort of on the fence anyway - we had kind of a "let's see what happens" attitude. So, the decision has been made for us. We could adopt, of course, but the proactive nature of pursuing adoption doesn't really jibe with "let's see what happens."

So, because things look to be on an even keel for now, I'm going to suspend this blog for a while. What? I know, it's a surprise, I've been so diligent about posting! I figure, if there's more to report, I certainly will. If I start with other types of ramblings, I'll start another blog and let you know.

For now, though - thank you to all who wrote such kind words. I can't tell you how much everyone's support has meant to me. To go through a scare like this is, well, scary and I couldn't have done it alone.